Kunststoffe Vokabeln: Conductor
Once there was a man who just loved the trolley cars in San Francisco. He had loved them since he had been a child: every day he would watch the trolley cars go up the hill and down the hill; up the hill and down the hill…and he loved to watch them–except when old people got on the trolley cars, because they used to complain about the littlest things. And so as the man grew older, he developed a hatred of old people, but he just loved trolley cars.
So it was no surprise that the man eventually dropped out of school and decided to fulfill his dream and become a trolley car conductor. He spent his days going up the hill and down the hill; up the hill and down the hill, ringing the trolley car bell as he went…UNTIL one day an old lady got on the trolley car and demanded change for the money she had put in the vend-o-matic, even though there was a sign clearly posting that the conductor did not make change. He refused to make change for her, and this infuriated the old lady. She began screaming at him and making such a scene that he lost control and threw her out on the trolley car tracks and ran over her. Needless to say, he was arrested, tried, and found guilty. He was sentenced to die in the electric chair, and when the warden came to ask him what he wanted for his last meal, he responded “a dozen bananas.” The warden was a bit surprised at the request, but it was a last request, so he honored it and the man promptly smashed up the bananas and smeared the juice all over his body. He was taken to the electric chair and strapped in…ZAP…the executioner threw the switch, but the man lived! The executioner checked all the connections and threw the switch again…the man still lived. The executioner tried a third time, but the man still lived. Now at this time, the law stated that if you didn’t die by the third time, it was an act of God that you were still alive and you were released, so the man went free.
He returned to his job at the trolley car…(go through the deaths of two more old people, and trials, and last requests for bananas the man smashes on his body and three tries and the man going free from the electric chair)… After the man was set free for the third time, the warden had to ask him: “Three times you’ve been sentenced to die in the electric chair and three times, you’ve gone free. Tell me why: is it the banana juice that you smear all over your body before going to the chair??” The man thought for a moment, and then slowly replied, “No, I don’t think it’s the bananas…I guess I’m just a bad conductor…”